July 29 Cont’d…
5:35pm
I am slid into a bed in an ICU cubicle. I can see the sun is still shining brightly outside. I am now in the hands of efficient nurses who tell me the reason I am in some much pain is that they cannot give me painkillers because of my precarious condition. However they will do the utmost to bring me comfort by positioning me. They rearrange the cubicle so they had complete access. Just call them, they said. We will come running if the pain gets too unbearable. They shoo off your Dad, telling him he can come back in 2 to 3 hours which is perfect for him because he can go to Grandma’s birthday dinner. Then he could bring her back to the hospital to see you and me.
8:00pm
A couple of hours later, I open my eyes because I sensed I am not alone. Your Dad was on one side of the bed, your Grandma on the other, both gripping the side bars that were up to prevent me from rolling out of bed or maybe just taking off…. I smile weakly as Grandma pronounced, “Quite Contrary, I do not want to hear of you having another baby. We are lucky you lived through this one. I could not bear going through this again.”
My critical mind fleetingly wondered if this speech is partly to hide the guilt she may have felt for telling me she had no time to talk to me yesterday. After all, she was making donuts. I would never broach the subject with her since it somehow shamed me as I maybe childishly thought she would never have said that to some of my other sisters – could I be the one lacking, not her?
Then again, what do I really know about motherhood and how challenging it can be – maybe it was because my hormones were in a flux but like an epiphany suddenly my Virgo tendency to judge at that moment was replaced with compassion- aaahhh….what is that saying, “Judge not, that ye may not be judged?” – got to remember that one.
I turned the conversation to my Wonder Baby and both Dad and Grandma bubble as they told me you how beautiful , healthy you are. Great, no worries. Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow!
July 30
12:Midnight
A real Florence Nightingale Nurse is assigned to me – the type who cared enough to read the particulars. The first thing she said to me was the same message my Mother had given me, “Do not have any more children. I looked at your chart, saw what you went through today. Also you had Placenta Previa and a Small to Date Baby. You are lucky both of you made it though. You are a Mother now. You have a responsibility to this baby born today. Do not put him at risk to be motherless.”
Nurse Florence Nightingale gave me the confidence to tell her about my experience with Nurse Post Op Ratched, pounding on my incision to wake me up. She could not believe that anyone who knew I could not have painkillers would jump start me in order to hasten the process. Back she went to my charts and confirmed the method of revival had even been recorded in writing, now part of my permanent record. “It takes all kinds”, she commiserated, “It takes all kinds. Just take my advice and you won’t have to meet up with the likes of her again.”