Momma’s got a story ….(doesn’t she always) …you know the mega conglomerates suck you in and ‘say too bad…so sad’ when you look online (because of the services you pay them to provide) and notice rates much lower than you pay…so you call…and wait…listen to free advertising of their latest products no home should be without and an inane music loop that repeats over and over and over again…like a three-year old on a xylophone because maybe only one Customer Rep made it in to work that particular day.
When you do connect, it is explained to you, the 25 year client, you must be a NEW customer to get those deals…huh…loyalty is worth what??? Sucks to be you….But if you would just get a package, bundle up, you could have breathtaking savings…for the next 6 months … if you sign a contract….for two years. No thank you, Mr. Rogers and Ma Belle….here in ‘a place to stand, a place to grow’, we are so on to you…
But that is not ‘her story’… No, she wants to talk about a fix for the land line. It started out as static on the line, progressed to dropped calls…well, except for the charity foundations and scam artists, with hands in your pocket who somehow always get though…. There was a problem, which of course Momma was warned sternly, if she had caused, she must pay and pay and pay for the expertise of hired help that would be sent for the fix. You Got It, Pontiac!
Now everyone knows an appointment must be set which keeps the customer home for a set period of time because like the return of Jesus, they could show up whenever between 3 to 5 hours, depending on their schedule.
All went well…not that well…it took 3 appointments actually to back to business during which for a period there was no longer had phone or internet service….and who lives without world-wide web today unless you’re on some God forsaken island in the middle of a hurricane…or an earthquake.
Mr. Simple Man came first… he scared Momma with talk of hooking in to a neighbours service and having to dig deep and wide to replace cable and resolve the problem…no, he could not fix it…but he’d place an order for what was needed and request another appointment be set up within 24 hours. Okay….
Mr. Young Man came next. He was totally bummed out because Mr. Simple Man was clueless and had placed an order for the wrong equipment. Digging, what digging…no new cable required but whoops, now there is no telephone line or internet…but Mr. Young Man would make sure we had it up in 24 hours. By now Momma is hyperventilating…her Wonder Boy would not he happy…nor would she! So Mr. Young Man called his boss to see if it could be done…like today…this afternoon…and that is how Momma met the one that Ma Belle keeps a secret…. a Top Gun in their arsenal, shrouded in mystery, living in a grand tree trunk, only sent out when all else fails…
Meet Little Leprechaun Man…Not an hour later he showed… a twinkle in his eye, a bounce in his step, a 1, 2, 3, Bob’s your uncle and the fix is in. ‘What did you do’…Momma asked… ‘Oh, I just took a cloth and polished the wires and connectors’, he claimed….but Momma knew…he had performed some magical mending that only a Leprechaun of the highest Top Gun order can achieve. It seems Leprechauns have diversified…there are not just one-dimensional cobblers anymore!
Now Momma and Jakita have a new mission to find out which big old tree trunk hollow or woodland the Little Leprechaun Man lives in (in case he is needed again)…no doubt close to a Fairy Ring because it is Momma’s understanding the Leprechauns play the fiddle as the Fairies Twirl….
Momma knows people will scoff at this tale but Ma Belle…we are so on to you! You’ll go to any length to beat the competition and keep dissatisfied customers happy!
Because: Ma Belle believes in magic, so come along with me….
We’ll dance until morning ‘then go hide in the tree…’ (Paraphrase the Lovin’ Spoonful)
